A warm 'Hello' to you all,
We have blinked and it is November. How did that happen so quickly? In the Northern hemisphere, the golden leaves have nearly all fallen and the air is turning sharp as we brace for the first frost. I love this season when nature puts on a spectacular display and it feels like a time of re-birth, with instincts calling for de-cluttering and nesting.
It is also a time of nurture and given the world news, and the news from here in the U.K., we are more in need of nurture than ever before. Fear attracts more fear energy and we can get swamped with it, which in turn calls for more nurture. We need each other and kindness, wrapped up in filters and boundaries.
I sat with a young man who is organising the funeral service for his beloved grandmother. With fear and grief in his eyes, he mentioned that his family was in a mess. Families have people in them, so the mess of life in every family is there to a lesser or greater extent. We can all get messy, as can life. I talked to him about the life story we could tell for his lovely Granny and how it could be told. The sharp pieces could be wrapped in comfort, there are things we don't need to mention, and the story could flow with the love and memories that came from the loved ones and events that had been. It is all about how the story is told and which parts we focus on.
I am blessed with a hairdresser who only speaks when she has something kind and caring to say and I find it easy to relax in her company. The last time I sat in her chair, she asked how I work. I am paraphrasing here, but this is the gist of my reply.
"I am an advocate for loved ones who are dealing with loss. I create and tell the story of their loved one, that flows with love, softens any sharp edges, and creates fresh memories while honouring old ones. Each word of the ceremony is chosen with care and heartfelt instinct and in those moments that we are in the chapel or by a graveside, their beloved is alive in their hearts. Loving energy is created and it is a privilege to stand there with them. "
At a recent service, the family members and I were talking to each other during moments of the ceremony, as if we were back in their front room on our first meeting. There was laughter, tears, and many shared smiles, and the congregation responded with love. They felt included and the family messaged to say the loving energy created had followed them to their gathering afterwards and the pub was buzzing.
If we can come back to a place of love within ourselves, then nurture will flow. Things happen at such a pace nowadays, it helps to give ourselves permission to frequently review and adjust on what is and isn't helping us to flow with nurture. Silence is sweet. It also helps to pause and foster patience, as things need to unfold in their own sweet way sometimes.
On the nurture front, I had plans to start a weekly balm and a writing project for a book on grief a few months ago. Life has gotten in the way, work has been busy and some days there are too many spinning plates to add any more to the line above us. Tim and I have chosen to create some quiet time and to question what we feel we 'must' do. It is surprising what answers flow into the call to be quiet.
We hope you can create the time you need, for what you need, from the call to nurture this month.
From a little one, I met last night. 'See you later alligator. In a while crocodile.'
Love flowing from our home to yours, always.
Tim & Jane x